Letter from Dilsey to the church’s pastor

Dilsey,
47 AC,
Mississippi.
Dear humble servant of the Lord,
I trust you have been excellent and that the Lord has kept you well. Today I write this letter to seek your guidance on issues that have taken over my life. I must confess that I am one of the most fortunate African- Americans. I have had the opportunity to interact freely with persons of the white community. I have spent much of my life as a house servant for the Compsons’ family, a white family.
I have several issues that are troubling my heart, and lately, I am not having sufficient piece of mind. I have lived with the Compsons’ for so long that we have become an integrated family. My driving force to write you this letter oozes out of religious leader Shegongs’ Easter sermon. When he preached on the greatest equalizing factor of death, my mind and heart got thrown into disarray. His sermon reminded me of one of Mr. Compsons’ brightest child Quentin Compson.I am yet to get over his demise, and his memories keep coming back from time to time.
This particular young man committed suicide after joining Harvard University. I attribute His death to several home factors. Even though I did try my best to secure his childhood upbringing, I did not manage fully. My master and his wife failed in a way to instill the parental love that the boy needed. In spite of this realization, I am still troubled that I was not there to have the last word with him before he took his own life. It is this failure that has keep my spirit grounded, and I am unable to move forth with my soul at peace.

Moreover, reverend Shegong in his sermon talked of the beginning and the ending of everything. His powerful words still echo in my mind every day of the week. I could directly relate his words to the Compsons’. As I have earlier on mentioned, I have spent so much time with the Compsons’ that I feel I have been with them from the beginning. To begin with, the Compsons were once the wealthiest family in this neighborhood. They owned large tracts of land and were well respected. They commanded so much respect from the locals and were accorded the honor unconditionally. At first, I used to envy them. I hope you understand me and the position of the “Negro” in the society.
Being that I was strictly a servant to my masters, I used to covet for all they had. I understood that it was in contravention of our faith, but I hope you will cognize that it is human nature. Fast forward to the present day; the Compsons’ family has finally fragmented so deep that it is no longer a pride to be part of the Compsons’ family. I am heavy with guilt that my efforts to keep the family intact did not pay off. According to me, the Compsons’ family is quickly coming to an end; this saddens me that it has come to this.
I have seen so much hatred and rejection in the society in addition to that of the Compson’s. I have had to stomach the Compson’s even though it saddens me. My heart has had to live with a cloud of guilt as to what human beings are capable of doing. The Compsons’ have a disabled son called Benjy. Benjy has suffered discrimination from both the family and the society. They have failed to understand that He is not a sign of bad luck but instead, part of Gods beautiful creation. Even though he does not understand why the society treats him as such, he seldom falls into depression for lack of true love.
In total acknowledgment of Gods purpose in life for everyone, I have always been there for him through thick and thin. I share my love with him every day. In spite of my efforts to seeing him lead a happy and ordinary life, I often get troubled by the way the society treats him because he is a disabled child. Undecidedness on how to curb my situation has made me live in constant doubt over human beings and their call to humanity. The actions of the Compson’s has prompted me to seek your advice on how I should treat people now that I am living in my sunset days.
That notwithstanding, I am torn in between where to lay the blame concerning adultery. Should I blame the parents (Compsons) or their daughter Caddy? Apparently, Caddy is the mother of Miss Quentin. She gave birth to this precious gem outside wedlock. I understand that the child is innocent, but the divide that resulted from her birth was quite extensive. Caddy got banished from home, and she is considered an outcast by her parents; she has had to tolerate so much discrimination from her parents and the society every day, and that is not what she ought to go through. She does not feel comfortable with the kind of treatment she receives from every corner of the community. The above societal prejudices have compelled me to write to you as I seek advice on how to free up my mind and soul.
Yours sincerely,
Dilsey.