Make polygamy

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Should the practice of male polygamy continue in the Arab Gulf Countries?
Male polygamy has for long been practiced by many cultures especially in the Arab Gulf countries which include Kuwait, Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, UAE, Qatar, and Oman. Although the rate at which male polygamy is being practiced in these countries has reduced relative to the past decades, it still remains a common practice. There are many controversies surrounding the issue of male polygamy mainly due to the social, cultural as well as economic pressures associated with it. Male polygamy is in many cases characterized by competition and conflicts among the wives which may escalate to emotional distress and even physical injuries in the worst scenarios. Thus, male polygamy should not continue in the Arab Gulf countries as it is associated with many marital problems which vary from conflicts among the involved co-wives to the challenges faced by men in raising the large families which are a characteristic of male polygamy (Al-Krenawi 1).
While some of the polygamous men hold religious reasons for remarrying, most of them marry for completely selfish reasons. One of the major reasons for the continued male polygamy in the Arab Gulf countries is the need by men to have many children to uphold the name of the family. To some people, male polygamy has been viewed as fashionable as it results in large families. Another reason is that men remarry as a way of wealth show off.

For some men, unhappy marriage with the first wife may lead them to remarry. However, due to family pressures, they ignore the idea of divorcing the first wife and instead maintain polygamous families. Other men also remarry for the reason that having a young wife would make one feel younger even at an older age. There are many consequences of male polygamy, especially on the co-wives, that are enough to consider stopping male polygamy (Exposito 23).
The main problem with male polygamy is that it poses a major challenge to the man to provide for and treat all his wives equally. In most of the cases, polygamous men find it more challenging to hold together the large family through justice, equality, and fair treatment of all the women. While there might be a handful of cases of male polygamy that may lead to happy families, research shows that there are not many women, if any, who want to be a part of the polygamous family. Many women would also wish not for their husband to remarry. Polygamous men would tend to treat some of their wives, especially the younger wives, better than the rest. This unfairness and the inability of the man to treat all the wives equally lead to jealousy among the wives. Rows between the co-wives may at times escalate to physical conflicts and suicide trails as a result of the emotional distress caused on women by the perceived negligence and unfair treatment by the husbands (Al-Krenawi 10).
Male polygamy results in large families being raised in crowded conditions. With the rising cost of living, it is becoming increasingly difficult to raise families associated with male polygamy. This contributes to high school dropout as well as drug and substance abuse among the children. The presence of the man in the family plays an important role in the development of the children. This becomes a challenge in male polygamy since the husband cannot spend adequate quality time with children from all of his wives. The family structure affects the welfare of the children. It leads to low levels of self-esteem among some of the co-wives as well as the children which affect the well being of the family in general. In relation to monogamous relationships, polygamous marriages have a low degree of life satisfaction for the women. They also tend to be highly emotionally depressed compared to their counterparts in monogamous marriages. This is mainly attributed to the life pains associated with unequal treatment in their marriages and the jealousy induced by the co-wives.
The family structure has a huge impact on the mental and psychological development of adolescents. Children raised in polygamous settings would be likely to have behavioral and adjustment problems. This is contributed by the family conflicts brought about by the perceived jealousy and unfair treatment among the wives. Parents should act as the role models and mentors for their children. Conflicts between the co-wives in a polygamous marriage set a bad example which affects the well-being of the children. As a result, children in polygamous families would be likely to have more psychological and behavioral problems compared to children raised in monogamous families where both the parents are mostly available to spend quality time with them, offering them the necessary behavioral and developmental advice. Hence, stopping the practice of male polygamy would help in the psychological and behavioral development of adolescents as it would promote the growth of teenagers through compact families. If male polygamy is stopped, monogamy would be promoted, encouraging men to be highly responsible as father figures, which is highly important especially for the development of adolescents (Al-Sharfi et al. 14).
Another problem associated with male polygamy is that it weakens the original meaning of a family and the wives are literally viewed as slaves waiting for their master. Each of the co-wives wishes to have time with the husband as often as possible. However, depending on the number of wives in the family, the husband would struggle to keep all women happy. The original meaning of a marriage is that it should be a close relationship between the husband and the wife. Little or lack of family time may have a big impact on the health of the family not only to the wife but also to the children. When male polygamy leads to neglected or unfairly-treated wives, it creates the sense of the wife as more of a children-bearer rather or a domestic worker than an equal partner in the marriage. In many cases, polygamous men do not consult their first wives when they decide to remarry. Women are also discouraged to ask for divorce due to the notion that the number of women compared to men is large enough for men to have many wives. This seems to be demeaning to the rights of the woman in the marriage.
Fair dealing and equal treatment of all wives would be the basis of a successful polygamous marriage. However, it is almost impossible for men to find time for all wives and as well challenging to treat the wives equally. In many cases, the husband will seem to find favoritism with one or more of the wives. This is the beginning of all the problems associated with male polygamy. While it is alleged that remarrying would be better than having extramarital affairs, religious teachings provide that under male polygamy, the man should treat all his wives equally. The financial and social challenges involved in raising the large families associated with polygamous families also contribute to the problems of polygamous families and reaffirm the need for the practice of male polygamy on the Arab Gulf countries not to be continued. Depending on the level of tolerance of the wife, the impact of unhealthy polygamous families may include depression and low self-esteem among some of the co-wives. In addition, children may also face risks of drug abuse as well as low level of education due to the lack of motivation in the conflict-prone families.
Conclusion
While male polygamy has declined in the recent past owing to the increased cost of living, it is still practiced in the Arab Gulf countries. This cultural practice is, however, associated with several marital problems and thus should not continue. These problems include the inability of the polygamous men to treat all the wives equally and to find adequate time for each wife and children. Children need to have quality time with both parents to aid their development. Male polygamy can affect the father-son relationship due to the increased responsibility for the father to make time for all the wives. As a result of this, children may have poor psychological and other behavioral problems throughout their adolescence period, hence poor educational performance. Large families are a characteristic of male polygamy. Hence, male polygamy requires not only emotional maturity but also financial abilities of the husband. Polygamous marriages are likely to face early school dropout for the children, especially with the increasing cost of living.
References
Al-Krenawi, Alean. “Dealing with Polygamous Families and Changing the Rules.” Psychosocial Impact of Polygamy in the Middle East. Springer New York, 2014. 147-157.
Al-Krenawi, Alean. “Polygamy and Mental Health: an International Perspective.” EC Psychology and Psychiatry 1 (2016): 1-3.
Al-Sharfi, Mohammad, Karen Pfeffer, and Kirsty A. Miller. “The effects of polygamy on children and adolescents: a systematic review.” Journal of Family Studies 22.3 (2016): 272-286.
Exposito, Natali. “The Negative Impact of Polygamy on Women and Children in Mormon and Islamic Cultures.” (2017).