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Joining the Army to Be a Medic
It is said that when life gives you lemons, do not complain but instead, make lemonade from them. This is the kind of attitude I have always embraced. Life does not always go as planned and often than not presents us with ups and down that mold us to become strong and independent people. However, you have to make an intentional choice to use what you have, look past your current situation and do the best to create the life you want. This is the story of my life that taught me to be independent and to have a strong purpose in life.
I plunged into adulthood at a tender age. At the age of 15, I was the happiest woman in the world when I got married to the love of my life Kayton. I could not think of anything else rather than being happy and making my new husband happy in our newly founded and so-called bed of roses. The fact that I was very young and naïve, I had limited my scope of thinking about what marriage really is. I fantasized about our happy family, how we would get our children, bring them up together, and live happily ever after. Kayton was a very handsome, caring, loving, funny and principled man; he had every single trait that I like in a man. If I had another chance to choose a life partner, I would still choose him. Any woman out there could have made the same choice; trust me.
After five years of a wonderful marriage full of bliss, we were blessed with a baby boy. This was the moment I could say I knew what happiness feels like. We were both very happy and could not get our hands off this little bundle of joy.

My husband has particularly always wanted to be the one to change his diapers and put him to sleep. This was the perfect family! What more could we ask? Our home, although now it is a little clumsy because mom was busy tending to the baby, was the happiest place on earth for us.
Friends and relatives traveled from all side of the country to come and visit us, especially our boy, who is the cutest thing ever seen! They showered us with gifts and congratulations celebrating the new gift of life. My mother-in-law, in particular, could not hide her happiness, every time and whenever the baby was not asleep grandma was holding him. Songs and cheers of happiness had filled our home from our son’s birth. Everything was perfect, and I could not have asked for anything more or anything different.
When my son was a year and a half, my loving husband started to change from the loving, caring and warm person he was to the cold figure in the family. As a wife and a mother, this is the last thing you want or expect from the man you love, the father of your child and the head of your family. He was the sole provider for the family and I was a housewife. I did my best to care for our baby and I tried each day to become the perfect wife and homemaker. I could not understand where I had gone wrong, what I have done wrong or even trace the actual issue behind that sudden change. More frustrating was the fact that he could not speak openly to me as we had always done in the past. We were not the same couple as before, Kayton unto me became a stranger. I missed the time when we were a happy and joyous family. I tried to persuade him to talk to me and together we could work it out. Is it his job that was becoming a stressing agent and as a result changing his attitude towards his own wife and son? Was it the new family life? Was it me? Did I focus too much on the baby until you felt like you have no place in this family? These plus many other question troubled my mind. Surprisingly, my husband provided not even a single answer to any of the questions I asked. He regarded all this as a nagging habit that bored him. Well, I always asked because I was concerned about his well-being and our family. Kayton associated my communication strategies to nagging and stubbornness. I had turned from the hardworking and loving wife to a burden according to him. His change of behavior made life unbearable.
My life took the seemingly worst and wrong turn, and the worst happened to my life. When I was 22 years old, and my son was 2 years old, my husband, the father of my son, the pillar of our home, left us. When he was leaving, he told me “You are a great wife and a great mother, but I am no longer in love with you.” I couldn’t swallow that, those words pierced my heart. Was he serious? Was our marriage not good for him or worse? What happened to our vows? I asked him all of these questions but this time not loudly but without uttering a single word. So I just watched him walk away from us. As he finished informing me these things, tears cascaded down my cheeks, and I could not control it. That did not stop him. He left, and we have never been together since. It was the most difficult time of my life. I was sad, frustrated, unhappy and even started questioning my life. As Carr et al. asks does a happy marriage equal a happy life? (932). I questioned myself hard, and wondered what happened to the love my husband once felt for me. Could it be that it just disappeared? I had to be strong, so I tried as hard as I could to hide my sadness from my son who could definitely sense that mommy was not happy. Time to time he could even cry for his dad or mention him in his gibberish language. I had to inform everyone close to me that my husband has left us and that we were just the two of us. I believed that sharing my sorrows could help in relieving the pain I was going through and in the process enable me to come in terms with the separation. Single motherhood was a reality for me.
It is amazing how family and relatives can give incredible support. I can honestly say that was it not that my family and friends constantly checked on me to make sure I was okay, and offered the emotional support I craved at that time, probably I would have crashed long ago. My life experience changed my perspective about marriage and love in a firm believer that family comes first, and family is everything. The mother of my husband was especially the most empathetic. She called and checked on us from time to time. Now I was alone with a small adorable boy who I have to tend to, pay the bills, but I had no job. It was the most frustrating thing. I could not let my boy suffer at my watch. Although we got immense support from the family members and we had government assistance since I was a jobless single mom. But that was not enough for us. I needed to think about the future of my son and how to make life comfortable for both of us. I had to overcome my fears, sadness, self-pity and face reality. I needed an education and a skill that would make a livelihood. I also had to have life skills and wisdom that is necessary to raise a child and support myself.
It was then that I decided to join the army. This decision was not easy, but it was a necessary one. When you hit rock bottom, the ability to bounce back determines the kind of life you will live after. I had to make the hard choice to leave my boy with my family and join the army so that I could mold a future for both of us. I knew it was hard for him, but it had to happen so that something good would happen. Throughout the training, I would make sure that I was in contact with the family to check up on my baby and how he was doing. To my surprise he was a young warrior. He was strong and had become happier and sociable. I was amazed. It was as if he knew mommy needed him to be strong for her, and he did so well.
The army training is not an easy task, I must say, but it was the best choice I ever made in my life, besides my baby boy. The trainers were merciless, but at this point, this is what I wanted. I needed to be hardened; I needed to know how to fight back in life and most importantly to never give up. In the army, there is no room for quitting, it is either you are in and training hard or go home, no hard feelings. Perseverance was a major lesson. Time to time we were given strenuous and tasks that you can only accomplish through perseverance. Being tired or giving up were never options in the training field. Working with your team and being independent were core values each of the trainees has to possess. I also made incredible friends who had almost similar experiences to me, and this was a major relief. We would share stories and encourage each other and more work together. We all had a common goal: To become independent, and provide a better future for our children. Alison was my best friend during the training. She had almost the same story as mine. The only difference is that her husband had passed on and she had no skills or job to cater for her daughter. Friends like Alison made life look very easy and hopeful. When the training was complete, I was a completely new and different person. Not only because I was now a combat vet but also because of the powerful values and skills I had acquired. I felt like I could conquer the world for my son and myself.
Ten years later since my husband left, I was a well-trained and qualified to work as a combat vet, a proud single mother, and a strong and accomplished woman. Nothing could take me down anymore. I bounced back and swore never to go down again. My son at 12 years was a big boy and already in school. I had the future planned for both of us. I got my finances and savings right, and quit depending on other people. This was freedom for us; financial freedom and we could live happily together. When I look back at the moments when I was at my lowest, I shed tears not of sadness but of happiness because I bounced back. However, I could not have done it or rather successfully achieved all this were it not for the help of my family. I can now scream to the top of the world that I am happy in my space!
I later met Alison at a brunch with our children. Apparently, she did not live so far from our place. When we sat together to catch up, our faces were full of grin and happiness. Our children were happy and had made new friends out the situation as well. They also had the opportunity to see and go places that they never would have been able to. As we reminisced about our past, we could not help but laugh about it. This was a new life for both of our families and us. Our friendship grew stronger, and we shared a lot, especially the holidays. She recently passed and I miss her dearly but I know that her children will grow up to be proud of their mother. My life took a turn that I will never regret or would ever want to reverse. This is what my life was intended to be, and I love it, all the way. Out of the misfortunes and the challenges I passed through, I can say it looks like I made it.

Works Cited
Carr, Deborah, et al. “Happy marriage, happy life? Marital quality and subjective well‐being in later life.” Journal of Marriage and Family 76.5 (2014): 930-948.