The paper is about give a reader response for one of our class peer paper

Student
Professor
English 101
Date
Reader Response to Literacy Narrative
Frankly speaking, this wasn’t a good read for me. The paper does a decent job of providing a context, but the thesis isn’t clear from the beginning. Is your paper about learning how to read in English? Is it about reading in Arabic? Or is it about religion? I struggled to follow your train of thought throughout the paper, as you kept digressing and providing narratives that were out of context.
Looking at paragraph 3 in the first page, when you write, “I would wake up and see my siblings off and then I would proceed to the kitchen and make myself some cereal, usually there would be some on the countertops waiting for me to pour into a bowl”, you completely went off topic. This was an unnecessary narration that you would have left out. I also find the whole bit about the dark curtains in your room, and trading beds with your brother did not contribute to your thesis at all.
The paper makes a decent attempt at providing a chronological sequence of events. You provide vivid details of the six years you write about. I particularly liked the portrayal of Maclin Suleyman in the first paragraph on page 3 when you say, “He was a 6`2-3” light-skinned Somali man in his mid-twenties who had a way with kids and elderly people.”
The conclusion to your paper was arguably the best part for me. You provided a connection between your ability to read and achieving your dreams. Perhaps you would have specified which program you joined through your excellence in a debate that made you well connected.

The conclusion brought out the thesis clearly than the introduction did. They should be complementary to make for an interesting read.

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